Infinite Individuality

What is it that I want? I think I know. Maybe it's just that simple, and that's what is so disappointing. It is what it is and, at least for now, it's out of reach. Coming to terms with that is all there is to do in the moment.  And the search for a substitute is just that. It's unfulfilling, not what I actually want, and also beyond my control. You can't make a fish bite. Perhaps if I wanted to try some different bait, but I really don't. The pond feels very empty, or more just like it's the wrong pond. I want to be able to sit with it - but it's so boring. I feel boring. In many ways, I am boring. Maybe what I'm struggling with is just sitting with me. Maybe sitting is just boring. Maybe I don't do enough that I actually find enriching. Maybe this job, the games I play, the things I read - maybe it's all just treading water and I'm not actually trying to get anywhere at all.  Do I need a destination? Can't the journey itself be enou

It's weird how life can strike you with the sudden sense of urgency when you realize you're going to miss an opportunity. I didn't really care about the eclipse. I was curious about it, it sounds neat, but I really don't know what I'm missing. What I missed before. But that's it. I don't want to miss it again if I don't have to. Who cares about a day of work or a day of preschool? Will I remember those days 20 years from now? I'm sure I won't. But I'm confident I'll remember it if I go. The next time one comes, 20 years from now, I'll be able to tell my kids about how I made the decision the night before, drove them for hours to watch something for 2 minutes, and the laughter and fun we had along the way.  We can make life an adventure, or we can just let the days blur into one another. We are given choices like this all the time. Sometimes the relaxation of the blur is nice. Other times, it's strikingly fear inducing that some ch

As I walk through this valley Facing the shades of death It's not evil I fear But loss The rod of your discipline The staff of your direction Comfort me through struggle All of my days The forced march of time Quickens its pace My heart races At an end in sight But I don't know Where the path will lead How much it will wind Before that dreaded arrival I find myself in terror Yet awed with gratitude Accepting the intensity of pain Seized by saccharine sorrow I trust God has a plan But not that I will like it I have faith We will find His peace I pray you will find rest You have suffered Bearing it for your family Enduring for love But I will also help you Fight tooth and nail I will hold on As long as you wish it I have accepted my limitations Saving you is beyond me But you don't need salvation So we will share time There will never be enough In a twisted grace Cancer is giving us more Memories to cherish forever I tire of seeing so much silver Lining every disappointment B

I do not see how you can effectively own information since it can be shared infinitely without taking the information away from the initial possessor. My understanding of property is that it requires the ability to control the manner in which some thing is manipulated or used. For example, I can own gold, because there is a finite mass/amount of it available. It is scarce. When something is scarce I can account some sort of value to it. I typically put value upon goods for the properties they possess, as a result tools hold value. Now, when some thing that I possess holds value to others, I can trade it for things they possess that I value. All value is subjective as it requires perspective, but common utility for common purposes of finite things can increase their value as the laws of supply and demand come in to play. This is why money is valuable, because there's a finite amount of it, allowing it to work as a unit of account of accepted value in exchange for another finite thin

If you don't have to say it Don't It won't silence you If you don't need to do it Don't It won't paralyze you If you don't need to see it Don't It won't blind you If you don't need to solve it Don't It won't trouble you If you don't need to have it Don't It won't rob you If you don't need to believe it Don't It won't damn you Sometimes less is more But Less is still something

Waiting this way when you have no idea when anything is going to happen, the anxiety of it is just a permanent stitch in the side, a discomfort in the back of the mind, a fear kindled by every stray thought. It is only fitting that the feeling of topping the mountain has been so immediately followed with an indefinite trial of mental difficulty. Inevitable maybe. But it's out of your control. You can't change what is inducing it. You can only be disciplined about how you respond to all of it. You have the strength to put it away until there is something to address. You have the wherewithall to endure in doubt, to walk in the darkness. Even when it feels like the odds are against you, you can still hold on to faith that all things are possible. It's okay to let yourself be down when you're down. Rest when you need it, or you'll never recover. Don't disregard your esteem because you're not omnipotent. You've never had to be perfect, but it's okay to wa